Stop and stare...

I as a person am always in a hurry. I run through everything because i dont think i have enough time to stop and observe..that has cost me a lot because i strive for perfection, and if only i could pause and view the progress  i have made, i would have spared myself a lot of trouble, as i would have seen the flaws and all the things i did wrong. Not Eva. Eva runs through everything, she doesnt stop for air and even something as pleasant as taking a walk in the pleasant weather to observe all the beautiful things God made becomes a race to finish. I was walking by a cemetery yesterday and i suddenly stopped to review my life (i stopped because i realized that something would eventually stop me, but then i wouldnt be able to stare)

I saw all the tombstones, marked and unmarked graves, wreaths and all sorts of things...and i couldnt feel the breeze and it just came to me that they have finally stopped,...all the people in those graves were immovable, but they couldnt observe. Im sure they could see all the things they did wrong, things that if they had only taken a moment to reflect would have been done perfectly. I hoped they did not regret the lives they led, but i realized that i was heading for a path of regret. Hurry, Hurry, Hurry is the order of my day...oh yeah,..time waits for no one, but is there a point to maximizing time and a life that cannot be enjoyed? You do all these things and at the end you are tired,...in your rush,..no one enjoys it...no one including you....so its just an exercise or a routine. You take the fun out of life and out of everything for yourself. I have decided to just drop everything i do and take it a day at a time, not rushing anywhere or doing anything fast paced whatsoever...at least for the next 2 weeks of my life. Yes i will be lazy with life.no strict schedules nothing....I will enjoy every smile, every person, every breathe, every rose, every good and bad feeling, every bite i take,..ill be soo tired from enjoying everything it will be pure bliss...I am not in a hurry to die,... neither am i a hurry to live...(its shocking im saying this because i couldnt wait to be 18(iv been wanting to be 18 since i was 12)..i decided that if i rushed through everything,..i would be 18 on time and my life would start.....i dont totally regret all that time i spent being in a hurry,..but i would definitely have moved at a slower pace and i would have enjoyed every bit of my adolescence....grown up isnt as fun-filled and fantastic as i thought it would be..)

Observe!