Indecisive

Today is a day where i cant make decisions, (you see, appropriate decision making is a strength of mine .) Today is the day where i cant put my thoughts together and i cannot make decisions as well and fast as i usually do. Today is the day i say "maybe" a lot. Maybe i will read the book that has been lying around for a while, maybe today is the day i will tell him i love him, maybe it is the day i will help my friend, or write that proposal ive been wanting to write for years...(yes years). Maybe, just maybe today will be the day i will call my dad. Or the day i will finish studying, or the day i make my hair(you see i dislike making my hair and i do not understand why yet). It could also be the day i dont say no.(i have a strange habit of saying no and depriving myself of things that wouldnt hurt to try, its the practical human in me) It might be the day i decide to believe in happily ever afters(i believe in love, but i mentally prepare myself for the worst possible outcome because i dont know how to think differently) It might be the day i let go of my inhibitions and just hang out there for the world to see(i am shy about a lot of things even though i dont seem like it) It might be the day i let the perfectionist in me sleep(i love details......i live for details, i never see the big picture until i have perused all the details and im quite sure each one is perfect,..only then will i see a big picture and be happy...."perfection is just the beginning.") It might be the day i let God take total control..(you see, im a christian who has a personal relationship with Christ, but sometimes i tend to forget what faith is and then forget the place of God in my life, so i try to be god and in the process forget who i gave total control of my life and being to.) Today is a day for maybe's and while i can usually make this decisions rationally, today is a road that's taking me to places i cannot take myself to.